Confidence

It's weird to think I am writing about confidence after blubbering about it feeling so low.  This past week was marked by several deadlines and meetings, all of which I had to do some or all of the speaking for the firm in front of clients and potential clients. Also at one moment I had to talk with the boss which always makes me nervous

Overall I went in with confidence and conviction and with great results.

I remember telling myself to build up the confidence...and I used my experience with Martial Arts to do that.  Particularly karate.

There is so much I want to write about this subject and at some point I will.

For now I will say first that i am so happy that I'm involved in the Martial arts, in karate, and helping kids.  This week I saw once again how it affected me.  So many people think its all about fighting, or kata is crap, or karate competition is crap. Also have seen comments that full contact fighting is crap.  Yes, I fought but I am not out to seek fights. I have all 'bushido' (ways of the warrior) that I carry with me constantly. That is who I am.

Here they are:

1. GI – Right Action, Duty

2. YUUKI – Courage

3. JIN – Benevolence

4. REI – Politeness or Morality

5. MAKOTO – Truthfulness

6. MEIYO – Honor

7. CHUUGI – Loyalty

I went into Muay Thai to de-stress, I went into Karate to help out the kids.
Looking back I don't think I could have ever foreseen how much it would change me.

Juggle

I have been doing lots of juggling lately...work, training, school stuff. I have done it all before but it seems that its compounded with stress. Trying to do my best. I got sick a couple of weeks ago first a cold then sinus, and achy all over. Unfortunately it freaked me out.  With everything going on i have done a great deal of second guessing myself. Confidence seems low. Bummed that i am not doing all the things i should be. Today though exhausted i feel well enough to go hit stuff. Hoping it helps distress. All in all i feel overwhelmed in a sea that i am trying to float upon. I know things can and will be better. Just have to take thing a day at a time. Being sick freaks me out, being scared of failing at something freaks me out. I am doing my best to not let it cloud me and it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Things are not all gloom and doom. Have.had some bright spots. Some compliments at work, watching the karate kids do well in testing, and teaching has been rewarding.
Guess i just need to vent the negative so i can release it, and remember the positive so that its something i can hold onto.

Full time school

Ah last couple of days have been crazy. Hectic at work trying to get to the school...and not feeling well. Who gets a sore throat in June? Commuting has sucked as Ava is in the shop. Hoping she is out soon. We are six days npw at the school and first day went ok. Now we need people. In other news i am close to finishing up my continuing education for LEED. I will be glad when its done. Work is.now offering an incentive prpgram for taking the ARE. Now i have more incentive to get this done one and for all.  Things have been busy but good.