Seminar

This weekend I participated in a 6 hour Seminar with 4 time World Champion Chantel Ughi.

Still incredibly sore, but I had a good time.  Only have a couple of pics, but here you go.

Me and Chantel

Group Photo
(which one is different from the rest?)

"IF"

"VIDEO"

IF you can keep your head when all about you 

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, 

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 

But make allowance for their doubting too; 

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, 

Or being hated, don't give way to hating, 

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: 

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; 

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 

And treat those two impostors just the same; 

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 

And lose, and start again at your beginnings 

And never breathe a word about your loss; 

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 

To serve your turn long after they are gone, 

And so hold on when there is nothing in you 

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 

' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, 

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 

If all men count with you, but none too much; 

If you can fill the unforgiving minute 

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, 

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Pressure

After the fight, the first question was 'did you win?" followed by "can i see it?". even worse was "can't wait to see it". Then it was the 'are you going to do it again?"

I know people don't mean anything by it. Feel like my go to response is "let me try to process what I just did for a moment"

At first I felt like I wanted to walk away from it all. Then I went back to classes and even hit mitts.

Now what?

It feels like a little pressure to answer that.
I could fight again, I can teach, I can study for my exams, I can...
Its all a blessing for sure that I have choices.

Right now, it just kind of feels like purgatory.

Feel like a quitter no matter what I choose.

I've asked for pics/video from the fight.  I think I'm about ready to just see it so I can put it to bed.

Finally

I know I didn't really post much before the fight. Guess I was just SO sick of talking and thinking about it.
Hard enough to remember to breathe. Anyway...although I do have more thought and analysis just not sure what or how to write them yet.

For now, I want to post an email on got just after the fights. So poignant.

"Winners get winners speeches... losers get losers speeches... and you know I'm weird and unorthodox... so since I know you won... let me give you the loser speech... because its true... and you should more easily be able to believe... as you won. Here it Goes.

Getting in the ring was the first victory, staying in the ring was the second victory, throwing a punch after you've been hit was the functional personal victory. You are born again tonight. Winning or losing doesn't matter You were victorious the moment you "fought back" Great job."

Single Digits

Last night was a much better night for me with sparring.  Training also went good. The running/sprinting is feeling strong and good.  Nothing too crazy for the next 9 days.

Looking forward to this adventure.

On fear...

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” 
― Frank Herbert

Facing the Demons

Tuesday was another bad day for me.
Sunk deeper into this pit I'm in.

Yesterday, it began to break.
Feeling much better.

Now to continue to face these things.

15 days.

Demons

Who knew that 30 seconds of failure would dredge up demons.  To the point where yesterday I was experiencing a minor amount of back pain similar to what I had almost a decade ago.

Emotional bubbles rising to the surface, I think I've started to cry like 5 times in the last 48 hours.

It's not about having one bad day, but the worry I'll have another. Then have to live the rest of my life with the quilt and regret.

I know I keep telling myself, ah if I lose but try my hardest I'll be ok. I know, its not the end of the world or anything, but this means a lot to me.

Got to face it all now and figure out how to get my head on straight...soon.
19 days....

Ups and Downs

just got back from training. regular training went well. 

unfortunately sparring didn't go so well.

was told to go harder and faster and did nothing. my biggest fear.

cried a bit over it.

ugggg

so i am sulking a bit.

Getting Closer!

So, I'll be wearing the Monkol and Flowers (in the pic behind me) along with my MTI shirt from Thailand, Snoopy shorts, and Propajet (arm band).  Will be walking out to the 'Peanuts' Theme song.

Starting to get excited.

Teaching Snoopy

My training partner cut himself on a tuna can Tues so it gave me an opportunity to work with another guy.
I've noticed he liked the Snoopy, so I asked to work with him so he could do it on the mitts.

We had SUCH a good time, it was awesome.  He was also able to give me a good workout so that was sweet.

A couple came in for their first class. Think they liked it. They also saw a little bit of Snoopy so I might have a few more fans.

Sweet.

Ah..

So, went to get a 'tune up' on Saturday, my body is like 'woah' right now especially since i did a workout this morning.

Friday I left early, I think it was a combination of over-training and undernourishment.  So this morning, I made sure to pack lots of snacks so it doesn't happen this week.

Feeling pretty good and confident right now.

26 days!

On the card

So I'm officially on the fight card with less than a month remaining.
Feeling a little sick, probably cause I'm overwhelmed, tired, and not replenishing enough.

Today I'm going to rest, give my body what it needs and get myself ready for this final stretch.

Yikes!

Ug

Today feels like a blah day already.

Last night was tough. Talking to people about signing up, when it doesn't go smooth I get self conscious. Hate talking about money.  I feel like the bad guy. Its hard to remember, no money - no mission.  That we really need it now to survive and reach our next goals.

Guess I'm overwhelmed by it. Overwhelmed by everything - work, training...

This morning I didn't do my morning workout, took the morning off. Think I needed it, besides I am tired and sore.  Then, later today is the first day of Karate.  Preparing for the whirlwind.

Hoping as many people come as they say. Just a little more income.

Just trying to overcome the massive sea of emotion, push through and have faith.

32

So its 32 days away now.

Been adding in sprinting, doing a little lifting and it feels good.
Not yet at my goal weight but close...

Still having a rollercoaster of emotions...wondering if I am doing enough.

Looking forward to hitting stuff tonight, hope we get more students.  

Drenched..and it feels good.

Just got caught in the downpour of rain.  Actually felt good.  Sometimes it feels like the weather outside is what is feel inside. Stormy, and wanting to cry.

Talked about that, and other things with a friend today.  Something about talking to them, leaves me feeling nothing but comfortably honest and its helpful. for me to reflect on things that I have long compartmentalized. It feels very much like talking to my sister, that I confide in with so much.

Was saying I don't cry much. Its viewed as weak, or a drama.  Here alone in front of this computer, perfect time to cry and all I feel is ache.  

Guess it is because I am so overwhelmed.  In other ways underwhelmed.

Was also talking about KICK and my commitment to the kids...was saying how it helped me when I was sick. been so vested in it cause I want to give back. I want to help out the kids that need it. Guess it heals me a little bit too.  Also its gets the 'mothering' part of me nurtured, since a part of me feels I'll never have a family.  

Feel bad complaining about stuff, when I have so much. Family that loves me, roof over my head, a job, food, a passion (make that two), and of course my health.  But I guess admitting the pieces that are in repair or broken helps. And its helps so I don't keep it in and eventually get sick.

Another thing talked about was my confidence.  OH confidence...my long time friend and foe.  Boy they have NO idea how bad I used to be, they should talk to my dad or sister.  Its ever improving, but from the outside it looks like I have a long way to go.  It is almost that I am more appealing to others with confidence.  Both privately and professionally.  Always struggled with this one cause I don't want to loose my inner core.  The girl that needs nothing more than a hug, no drama, simple. The girl that believes it the little things that count, has compassion, and patience and is giving.

It's another morphing that needs to happen and it will. I think this fight will definitely bring about this change.  Change hurts, but the results can be great.  A big part of me believes this to be true. And I want to continue to grow and change, be that confident woman I know I can.

Have to let go, and it might mean giving up things that I've held onto for so long.  
Life is so very short.  Why not now?

Thirty something

Oh..so...sore.exhausted.stressed.

work is still beyond insane, i can't even begin to catch my breath.
then there is the after-school coming back next week..and the dojo...and training.

needless to say my plate is full.

trying to remain focused, trying not to just give up. reminding myself that this will someday be worth it.

just over a month now til the fight. hoping to see i'm match up soon just so i can breathe a little easier. 

its the final stretch.

in other news, i should be having lunch with a good friend of mine. they are moving away soon. times like these i wonder why i get close to people, it hurts a little when they go away. guess it means i care.

sorry if this post is scattered, my brain feels scrambled.

Ava (the bike) and other updates

Oh MY poor little Ava.  She went in cause she's been acting up. Hoping it was a simple thing, actually was major.  The poor thing needed SO many parts to make her work right.

Last time we went to dbags so we went to Bikes Not Bombs.  So far, I love them and they are awesome.
Its going to set me back a big chunk, but I guess its what I have to do to upkeep my bike.

And my body. Since she hasn't worked right, she's bothered my knees.  Top it off with all the training and probably overworking my IT band and I am hurting a bit.

Anyway she's resting comfortably and in good hands. I can't wait to see her again in a week.  

This week might suck monkey, much like the past two.
The past two weeks I've been helping another team, and my own work piling up.
This week its going to be very busy with two deadlines of my own.

AND training.

Tomorrow, I go get groceries. Stockpile up for the week ahead. Got to get in my protein.

Monday I have off, and going to do strength training, cardio, and sit in the sauna at his work.

Also got LOTS of school stuff to do and prepare for. 

6 weeks left. VERY VERY VERY nervous right now. I wanted to be further along with so many things and freaking out.  On the other had there are areas that I've improved, and I'm happy about that.

Just go to be focused.

Training...and Training

So I've been doing LOTS of training.  Lots of rounds, ramping it up.  It looks like I might have a match up coming down the pipe. It's really happening.

46 days. Holy crap.

This week I found out a fellow student can't make it anymore due to work. Bummer, especially since I was going to ask her to be my second for cornering.  It's ok though.

I've gotten really close to fellow partner, and fighter. He's so young, and he's really working hard. Hope they find him a match too. When we first were talking about fighting I said he's kinda like a brother...and boy its sure shaping up to feel that way.

Two things I started this week, heaver gloves and eating protein snacks every hour. Oy I actually feel full most of the time. So far so good. Almost at my goal weight. (few pounds away)

Work has been really busy. So busy I've made mistakes. It really bums me out when I do such things.  One particular project, working with a new PM, they don't know my work ethic or how rare it is for me to mess up. Its just disheartening.

Trying to let it go as its almost 11 at night and I need to get sleep.

Tomorrow is another day.

Its in the Mail

Just filled out the check to register to fight. It will be in the mail tomorrow.
Lots of potential fighters I'm seeing now with a big range.  Trying not to over think it.

Still training while working long days, body is tired. Last night did 5 hard rounds before class...oof!
Mind is tired.

Only 52 days left. I can NOT think of anything else I want more.

Focus Focus

Less than 8

Time is FLYING.  Hope I am doing enough. Working hard but also trying to rest...

Had a good week of working hard and trying to get stronger. We had new people in class on thurs and I am hoping they sign up.  That would be so great.

There is so much on my list to do, and  though I am wading though the fires, never seem to get it all done.

I also can't stop thinking about training this goal.  Its almost consuming me at times.  

Preparing myself for a busy week. Helping out another team on their deadline, and dead set on not missing any training.  My own projects are in a lull and I'm hoping they stay that way at least for this week so I can be as much help as possible for the other team.

61 Days

So another person has commented they had a girl in my weight class that was interested in fighting.  They are... a NINJA.  

Did a fairly good workout Saturday, and tried to work hard given the soreness.  Most of it is gone, but still sore.  Tried to keep finding things that my body needs, and its been helping.

Emailed 'the doc' for a tune up.  Waiting to set up the first one, then probably will visit again just before the fight.

There is a lot of personal stuff flying around, leaving me both entirely emotional and emotionless.  Just got to keep focused on this goal no matter what.

All of this...for 6 minutes.

Rollercoaster

Rollercoaster of emotions as we approach T-9 weeks.  Last night the promoter was asking his people if they know if matchups for Max and I. Some dude said he might have a girl quotes as "tuff cheerleader".  As per my habits, I was googling them lightning fast.  Nothing is definite yet, but word is spreading people are talking.  

Training went ok last night, just went in and did my work. Nothing too crazy.  For some reason I am not yet fully recovered...trying to eat and drink different things to see what my body needs.

At the end of the day, I think its sleep and less stress.  Gee who would have thought?

Fighterhood

Feeling all kinds of banged up last few days.  Nothing too bad, just pooped, sore, and slightly exhausted.  Its all part of the fun, and I know that it will pass.

Still went to class last night and just hit the bag, then worked on mitts.  Crazy enough, found another level of power in a short range punch. Who knew?

Photos

Ramping up, trimming down

So, my weight goal is 135-140.  I started to weigh myself daily to hold myself accountable.  Starting out, I was 146 (almost 147). I know I  have 7 pounds to loose (maybe more).  Not just that I care so much about the scale, but also my pants - and more importantly my fight shorts- are tight.   As of this morning I am 144. 


Already I am almost in range, with a little more than 10 weeks to go.  The weight will come off as I am doing cardio. If I can swing it, I'd like to be 140, less fat more muscle than I have now.


Last night, training was good. Got myself a fist pump for smashing the Thai pads.  Max and I did 3 rounds each before class, then 4 rounds in class.  The fourth round was more technique oriented, so I tried to give it my all for three rounds.  Jeff will be amping up the rounds, length of rounds, and then ramping it back down to what we will see on fight day.  Sounds like a great idea.


In other news I told Jeff teacher about my fight. The guy who helped with my health and such.  He asked if he could watch, gave me LOTS of compliments and some advice.  Such an honor to hear (or see rather) those words.  Hopefully, he is there.  


Next week, I will be asking my fellow training partner, Nicole to be my number 2 corner. Very exciting stuff.


Work is busy, earlier this week there was a rumor more work is coming down the pipe but I haven't seen it yet. So for now its normal working hours, and time for me to train.  Going to try to keep this balance as consistently as I can.

Undercover

Last week, Jeff contacted NY about their event Oct. 13.  Subsequently I temporarily disband FB until after the event.  Not sure if we are still going to try for Sept. 29 or not.  This makes my goal just a little more real, though I still feel its just a dream.


Training has been pretty good. Sat. worked hard in class, and did well in sparring.  Every class it seems I get a compliment that one or two aspects are improving. While other aspects are maintaining.  Think that is pretty darn good, and a goal to keep in mind.


This morning, I did a morning workout even though I was and am incredibly sore. 45 minutes, was hard.
Which tells me I need it.

less than 10 weeks

holy monkeys. its less than 10 weeks and i REALLY need to step it up.
workouts are going well. improving in many ways. what is lacking is cardio. need to start doing it NOW.

this past sat. was a really good workout on a number of levels. left feeling good - confident- ready for more.

just know there is this person i want to become and i know i need to work hard to achieve it.

know i will. day by day.

99! Double Digits Baby!

Ok. So, again I was sore and pooped for a morning workout. Not good. In talking with Jeff if I should go tonight, he said its ok to take the night off.  Especially in that I'll be doing lots tomorrow per a typical Sat.  


Sunday I am going to be doing something VERY different.  I am going to be doing a Vintage Photo Shoot. It is my birthday present, and I am very excited. Hoping that it goes well and the pictures turn out how I imagine them in my head.


Yesterday was a good workout. The new girl seems to like it, and Jeff held mitts for me so I was able to unleash.


Good stuff

100

oopsy. meant to do my second workout last night and fell asleep til it was time to make dinner. then i couldn't sleep which meant i missed my morning workout cause i slept in late. boo.  seems like my body needed it. i am sore for the extra workouts - and tuesday i worked HARD.

we had a new lady try class on tuesday - she seemed to like it. hopefully she comes back today. it was cool having 50/50 men/women there and a decent size group.

102

Feeling pretty good today.  Last couple of days I did a morning workout.  Got these DVDs for super cheap and decided to try them out.  Its confusing my brain and challenging my mind/body connection. I think that is good for me...I'm sure in time I'll pick it up. Either way its a decent workout.

Then I have my 'workout' of biking...which is a little bit harder after the morning workout ..but then again its day 1. 

Looking forward to training tonight. There is a girl that comes only on Tues and I really like working with her.  

She is interested in working with me and trying to help me achieve my goals.

There is another girl Jeff wants me to work with...she'd also be good for me in a lot of ways. But I am REALLY intimidated by her.  It'd be good to face my fears with being scared and intimidated..it what is mostly likely to happen before the fight.  Lucky for me Jeff knows her and how I feel - his number one goal is to get me ready. I know he will.

I'm excited to be taking time off soon to go home.  See my family that calm before the next couple of months of high intensity training. It'll be good. I'm excited.

107..ish

It's past bed time, especially since I want to get up early tomorrow. Boo.
Just thinking about my good night, and how I'm improving.  Watching youtube videos and looking at other FB pages, gets me amped. Cause there is a LOT of crap out there.  


I feel like I've had to go through a LOT to prove myself, on top of that just overcoming being sick.  Yeah, I know its been over three years...but that sure did a number on me.  My confidence is growing... also realizing I am my own help, my own coach, my own inspiration.  


There is so much I want from myself, this drive is growing and its in my blood.


107 days...yeah I can do this.

109

Whew...testing was last night. One step closer to Blue!

All in all it went ok - now I have to teach one more class and I am D-O-N-E with  the solo teaching...at least for now.

I am a little tired and sore but good.  

Recently a couple people that I 'follow' scheduled events around the same time as the Jersey one in 109 days...that is good. So there is amble opportunity just have to be ready.

Looking forward to training tonight.

REALLY looking forward to going home for vacation soon.

116

Sorry, its been awhile.  Work has been really busy last few days, even had to miss class again. Not much I can do about it.

Classes have been going well for me. I've been seeing improvement on the kicks so that is good. The rib is almost better, but it can get aggravated easily still.  Next Monday I test again and looking forward to it. Teaching has also gone fairly well.  Jeff and I are talking about the possibility of me teaching again in September. I guess we are going to see how the summer goes.

Yesterday I got one of two birthday gifts and I was REALLY excited. Can't wait to wear my new Muay Thai shorts today! See below.

130

So far so good this week. Classes have gone pretty well for me. Monday I got a compliment on my snap something that takes a lot of time and effort.  I was on a roll and it felt good. No wrestling yet for me as I'm not at 100% but that is ok.  Two more Blue Stripes is definitely a possibility!

Yesterday we had someone come in to just watch. As soon as I saw the focus mitts come out I knew what was up.  I was on deck to show what I can do.  Just hope that he comes back and takes class.  

Over the years I have seen a number of students to be 'on deck' and show prospective students/parent/etc what they can do.  It was always impressive to watch. I was really proud when it was my first karate student. He was good and I know I helped him get there.  Now recently I'm the 'on deck' student.  I know I had to earn this right.. There is no slack.  Its pretty nice to be in that spot, I am happy to be here.  I'm not as proud as I was for my student but still proud.

Today I'll be teaching again, and hope it goes more like last week. Smooth, everyone trying hard and listening.

132...ish

Whew! The website for my goal is back online. So that is good news.
It looks like I didn't break a rib after all just really hurt the tendons/ligaments under the rib. Jeff says it take time to heal...boo.


Last week I did have a decent workout on Thurs., Sat not so much...hitting bag just bothered me. Did lots of balance work and other stuff.  It kinda reminded me of when I got back about being sick just doing this and that and watching class.  


This weekend we had promotions in Peabody and the kids did good.  It exciting to be part of their success.  Movie night on Friday also went well.


Also caught a cold YUCK.  Guess when it rains it pours.   Today, I still plan on going to Karate, but probably not wrestling as I'm still hurt. Just do what I can. Promotions are coming up.  My overall goal was blue...but the more I think about it my goal should be 4 tips. With reaching blue in Sept/Oct.  I would feel more confident about that...but we'll see.  One day at a time.

136

MUCH better classes today.


Last night, I went to class knowing I probably couldn't do much but did what I could.  Teaching today went really well and that was relief.


Rib is feeling better, though not 100% it is tender still


Day by Day.

137

Been 'off' for a couple of weeks.  Mostly due to work, being put in several small projects I know nothing about is straining. 

Have got in a couple of good work outs and overall things feel ok.

Last night we did our JuJitsu time (wrestling) and really hurt my rib. Really don't think its broken as the pain is a constant dull and seems like it'd hurt worse. Then again I don't know much about broken bones. I've only broken one - my little toe and Jeff had to tell me it was broken. It hurt and it was purple but thought it'd hurt worse.   Even if it were broken, there isn't much anyone can do. So, I can continue to train just probably won't be getting hit there any time soon.

The website for the Warriors Cup (in 137 days) is down and it has me a little worried but either way I still have my goal. I'll contact them in July AND I know of other events that will probably happen around that same time frame. 

142

Yesterday was a very trying day for me as teaching did not fare well at all. It was very frustrating and discouraging.  I really don't really get a workout but did work a little in the last class. I am feeling it from the workout on Tues.

144

Training went good yesterday. Felt good.

Also recently learned (in general) the Wai Kru. I learned from video and it didn't take very long.  I attribute that to learning all these Kata. So now I need to get the flow down, and work with Jeff on the specifics.  I'll also need to practice it to the music.  

So glad I've learned it, and now when I fight hopefully I can perform it. 

147

Just when I think that my punching is at a plateau, it reaches another level.  don't get me wrong, i've been happy with how i hit for awhile now and been just trying to add other elements. along the way i've also found more heights. very cool. 


My kicks are getting there, slowly but surely. Hopefully they just 'get it' soon. I'm patient and know it will come.


For the next 6 weeks, I've asked that every Monday to do wrestling with the Karate kids. this will help me in the strength arena.  I need to be doing other stuff too. 


I'll get there....one day at at time.

148

Training this week went pretty well. Was able to make it to all classes, and worked hard.  Feeling pretty good. 

5 months remaining

Saturday, I put in some work. Was still incredibly sore from Thurs, so I didn't go too crazy. Yesterday, took the day off.

I'm signed up to receive emails on coupons, deals, etc.  So last week I got myself a two week pass at a local gym for $20. Super awesome deal. My plan is to take advantage of it when school is done.

Hoping to put in some good work this week.

155

Well the last couple of weeks at work have been pretty much chaos.  This week, I was still able to go hit stuff which was nice. Tues I got a compliment I have LONGED to hear....that I LOOK "Muay Thai".  That is great, I'm working with a new person so that is what I focused on - form.   Last night, I made myself proud with the Thai Pads. They are MUCH thicker than focus mitts, and I've been doing just ok with them until yesterday. I couldn't believe how well I did. 


Good stuff.

160

Yesterday was for the most part - crappy. As was today. Though class went well, my work out was just crappy.   Today, after not getting much sleep, I had to work. I feel worn out from work - ug.

Saw this poster...and it helped me remember that this weekend isn't how its always going to be.

---------------------------

I promise:

I will keep eating right

I will remember this is MY DREAM

I will continue to work hard

I will keep SMILING

I will wake up every morning DETERMINED to go to be with satisfactin

I will drink more WATER

I will push harder

I will NOT give up. Ever.

----------------

Pretty good words to remember.

161

So much for working hard...well I was just at work with an insane deadline. Grrr.

Today I'll be covering for Jeff as he's off to RI for a training weekend.

Only have to teach two, the rest of the time I am going to work out like a banshee. 

Probably going to have to go into work again tomorrow (Sun) to get ahead of the curve.  So definitely going to enjoy today as much as I can.

163

Class on Tue was a LOT of fun.  We had a couple more people sign up which is great for us. The students are really liking class, and working hard.  Yesterday, I didn't have to teach, so I had the night off.  Felt good.  Looking forward to working hard again tonight.

165

The title of this is 165. Its how many days until my training goal.

This past weekend, Sun/Mon - I rested A LOT!  My muscles, body, brain sure needed it. I felt guilty but told myself it needed to happen and looked at the larger picture.

For the past 5 weeks, I've had a HECTIC schedule, luckly this week is some relief with yesterday being a holiday, and no classes tomorrow. 

Got lots of stuff in the works, and I'm excited.

Milestone

We are officially breaking even with the school!!! Hooray.

Now onto the next milestone.

Feels good. We have a good group of people and we hope they are spreading the word.

=)

tested for myself to see how i'm progressing with gaining strength back. tried something new just to see if i could fail. was ok the results either way. with a will and taking it a step at a time...and i did it.  there have been a few moments like this over the past month or so.  its coming back, my muscle.  and my mental state is so different now.   i appreciate so much more.  i am proud of reaching my goals. its the little things,  like "closing the gate" in thai pads, or gaining two blue stipes on my green belt in karate.  today we had 8 weights...100 punches each. i did it.

what was so great is that going into it, i was ok with failing i was ready with whatever the results. but i had will, and i paced myself.  i was proud.  i will get there..

in a couple of days, it will be officially 5 more months.  i'm excited to meet the person i will be in September.

Step by Step

Big news for us.  Another location wants us to teach, meaning I am needed to help teach at our after-school location. I'm glad my boss gave the ok, we need the money and its something I want to do.  So, our lives are even busier...but we are doing everything we can to make it all work.

In the last couple of weeks I've been asked what I/we do. At first I don't think its much, but after I say it out I realize we have our plates pretty full. Here is the conversations...

Mom of morning program: "So its ONLY just you two running KICK?"

Me: "Yep, and I work full time as an architect"

Mom: "And you have the after-school program?"

Me: "Yep, and trying to run our own place in Peabody"

Mom: "Wow"

Me: "Well we are doing everything we can to make this work

Man: "So do you do this stuff (Martial Arts)?

Me: "Yeah, a little bit"

Man: "So how often do you train?"

Me: "Oh, Karate 3x a week,  Muay Thai 3 or 4 times, Ju-Jitsu and Tai Chi once a week"

Man: "That is more than just a little bit"

Me: "Yeah, I do what I can"

This week I got compliments during class, and I'm starting to realize I am progressing. FINALLY!!!! That my goal of September, is actually achievable. For one reason or another I've let goals go, this time I don't want to. This feels something bigger than myself.  Feels good.  

Excited to be testing this month in Karate. Excited to be teaching once/week for four classes - my basics are gong to get really GOOD.  Maybe Blue Belt is achievable in June after all.  

Very exciting. Just realizing I can achieve my personal goals WHILE doing all this other stuff. This is HUGE.

The road isn't always easy...

Finally we have started to see an increase at the school and we are happy. The first number of people that came in were looking for something for free, something we couldn't provide at the time.  We just got a grant and could outreach back to them, but Facebook does wonders for research.  Found out these people that 'didn't have money' actually did have money bragging about all their new things...they had a lot of things, more than what we have.

We are still hoping to find someone who is really in need and help them with a scholarship. We are also planning on sponsoring some kids to go to tournament.  We'll find a way to do good by this grant one way or another.

My heath has been pretty good - but hit a speed bump.  I have to admit when things are going wrong, its the first step in making them right.  Anxiety likes to live in my body and it will find a way to make itself known.  Just need to keep my eyes on the horizon and not stress too much.  Take my herbs when I need them and keep striving forward.

This year is going to reveal a lot of things, there are many opportunities to seize.

Better late than never?

Wanted to try and start posting on here again, so here I go.

Updates:

Work - as of Jan we are finally back to 100% salary after almost 3 years of having a pay cut. I competed PH1 of a lab building that had some exterior work. Most of my career has been on the inside/renovation so it's nice to see something from the outside.

School - October first we opened our school/dojo.  It's odd to think that technically this is our third month.  The first two were kinda rough. This month, things seem to be looking better. Hoping it continues. It's quite the feat for me to get to the school. I got a bike, Ava, and she helps me get there with a commuter rail ride in between biking bouts.

Health - its has been pretty good.  I've tried to make more of a commitment to training, and doing simple body weight stuff.  For each 'art' I have a goal.  Karate- its learning a new kata and competing with it. hope i am able to earn a stripe this year. Its been a year at green belt and time to advance.   Tai Chi- get the form down so I don't have to cheat while doing it, using the meditations wisely. Muay Thai, be able to do all the 'bridging' exercises, do a full pull up and push up. get my kicks strong.  Be ready by September.

I'm really proud of myself at my progress on my goals, just last week 5/7 days I was doing something.  I feel some muscle starting to peek and have noticeable progress in a few areas.

I guess this was on my mind and I just wanted to write it. I don't want to do it on Facebook and prefer here.
So...that is a short synopsis and I hope to keep this up a little better.