Who knew that 30 seconds of failure would dredge up demons. To the point where yesterday I was experiencing a minor amount of back pain similar to what I had almost a decade ago.
Emotional bubbles rising to the surface, I think I've started to cry like 5 times in the last 48 hours.
It's not about having one bad day, but the worry I'll have another. Then have to live the rest of my life with the quilt and regret.
I know I keep telling myself, ah if I lose but try my hardest I'll be ok. I know, its not the end of the world or anything, but this means a lot to me.
Got to face it all now and figure out how to get my head on straight...soon.
19 days....
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