Monday, November 19, 2012

Seminar

This weekend I participated in a 6 hour Seminar with 4 time World Champion Chantel Ughi.
Still incredibly sore, but I had a good time.  Only have a couple of pics, but here you go.

Me and Chantel

Group Photo
(which one is different from the rest?)

Saturday, November 10, 2012

"IF"





IF you can keep your head when all about you 




Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, 


If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 


But make allowance for their doubting too; 


If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 


Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, 


Or being hated, don't give way to hating, 


And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: 


If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; 


If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 


If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 


And treat those two impostors just the same; 


If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 


Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 


Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 


And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: 


If you can make one heap of all your winnings 


And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 


And lose, and start again at your beginnings 


And never breathe a word about your loss; 


If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 


To serve your turn long after they are gone, 


And so hold on when there is nothing in you 


Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' 


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 


' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, 


if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 


If all men count with you, but none too much; 


If you can fill the unforgiving minute 


With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, 


Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 


And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Pressure

After the fight, the first question was 'did you win?" followed by "can i see it?". even worse was "can't wait to see it". Then it was the 'are you going to do it again?"

I know people don't mean anything by it. Feel like my go to response is "let me try to process what I just did for a moment"

At first I felt like I wanted to walk away from it all. Then I went back to classes and even hit mitts.

Now what?

It feels like a little pressure to answer that.
I could fight again, I can teach, I can study for my exams, I can...
Its all a blessing for sure that I have choices.

Right now, it just kind of feels like purgatory.

Feel like a quitter no matter what I choose.

I've asked for pics/video from the fight.  I think I'm about ready to just see it so I can put it to bed.


Monday, October 15, 2012

Finally

I know I didn't really post much before the fight. Guess I was just SO sick of talking and thinking about it.
Hard enough to remember to breathe. Anyway...although I do have more thought and analysis just not sure what or how to write them yet.

For now, I want to post an email on got just after the fights. So poignant.


"Winners get winners speeches... losers get losers speeches... and you know I'm weird and unorthodox... so since I know you won... let me give you the loser speech... because its true... and you should more easily be able to believe... as you won. Here it Goes.

Getting in the ring was the first victory, staying in the ring was the second victory, throwing a punch after you've been hit was the functional personal victory. You are born again tonight. Winning or losing doesn't matter You were victorious the moment you "fought back" Great job."

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Single Digits

Last night was a much better night for me with sparring.  Training also went good. The running/sprinting is feeling strong and good.  Nothing too crazy for the next 9 days.

Looking forward to this adventure.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

On fear...

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” 
― Frank Herbert

Friday, September 28, 2012

Facing the Demons

Tuesday was another bad day for me.
Sunk deeper into this pit I'm in.

Yesterday, it began to break.
Feeling much better.

Now to continue to face these things.

15 days.