Dear

Dear Stella and Vera,

Recently you two started to go to "school". My oh my time is flying... It was just yesterday you two were born. Already your personalities are forming and shaping. You have the best life around you in a world that is full of both happy and sad. There is so much you know that the rest of us had forgotten, so much you are teaching us. There is oh so much more that you will see.

Change.  It can be tough.  There is the saying that the only thing constant is change. So much of  life is your outlook on change. Never forget you have the most amazing powers to create change. It tough being away from home. From mom. She misses you too. You are small eagles and you are beginning to  learn how to fly. Your wings are powerful. No matter what. Mom and all of your family is with you. Guiding you, supporting you and cheering you on.

I write this from over 700 miles away. My heart aches knowing how much i am missing out on. In my gut, I know I am meant to be here. At least for.now.  I think of you all the time and if i knew you needed something, anything I would do everything in my power to help. Now and always I am supporting you from far away. It's been so much fun hearing about you and reading the blog that tells me about your days and how much you are growing, changing and learning.

Going to your first school is the one of the first of your many adventures in your lives.  There are many to be had, and the possibilities are endless. There is so much you can accomplish, if only you set your mind to it and work hard.  No matter what you may do, I know one thing for sure, you will make your family proud.

You will be big strong eagles.

=)

Gaining steam.

Our summer program is gaining steam! We have had two people sign up with 6 more looking to sign up, hopefully over the next week.  We set out telling ourselves 10 is the magic number, knowing how unlikely we'd be. Having 8 would be tremendous. 

I enjoyed my week off and did a purge type cleaning on the house and first week back at work has been busy but not too crazy.  I've been having trouble with my knees so I went to see 'A'.  He gave me advice and more stuff for chinese tea.  Apparently my liver is acting up.  He also has me re-examine what I am eating. Though I haven't fallen off the wagon, nor am I anywhere near where I was nearly 5 years ago, I haven't been doing my very best.  Jeff has been talking about removing wheat from our diet, so we are going to do that.  It will help both of us in many many ways. I will also focus more on eating all the things I should be, meat, grapes, greens. 

I've done nothing on really training the way I want to train, and nothing I studying for the ARE. BAH!  I know I need to buckle down. It seems like there is always a million other things going on.

After yesterdays treatment, I woke up today sore, tired, and not feeling well. So I took today off. Guess my body needs the down time...

Confidence

It's weird to think I am writing about confidence after blubbering about it feeling so low.  This past week was marked by several deadlines and meetings, all of which I had to do some or all of the speaking for the firm in front of clients and potential clients. Also at one moment I had to talk with the boss which always makes me nervous

Overall I went in with confidence and conviction and with great results.

I remember telling myself to build up the confidence...and I used my experience with Martial Arts to do that.  Particularly karate.

There is so much I want to write about this subject and at some point I will.

For now I will say first that i am so happy that I'm involved in the Martial arts, in karate, and helping kids.  This week I saw once again how it affected me.  So many people think its all about fighting, or kata is crap, or karate competition is crap. Also have seen comments that full contact fighting is crap.  Yes, I fought but I am not out to seek fights. I have all 'bushido' (ways of the warrior) that I carry with me constantly. That is who I am.

Here they are:

1. GI – Right Action, Duty

2. YUUKI – Courage

3. JIN – Benevolence

4. REI – Politeness or Morality

5. MAKOTO – Truthfulness

6. MEIYO – Honor

7. CHUUGI – Loyalty

I went into Muay Thai to de-stress, I went into Karate to help out the kids.
Looking back I don't think I could have ever foreseen how much it would change me.

Juggle

I have been doing lots of juggling lately...work, training, school stuff. I have done it all before but it seems that its compounded with stress. Trying to do my best. I got sick a couple of weeks ago first a cold then sinus, and achy all over. Unfortunately it freaked me out.  With everything going on i have done a great deal of second guessing myself. Confidence seems low. Bummed that i am not doing all the things i should be. Today though exhausted i feel well enough to go hit stuff. Hoping it helps distress. All in all i feel overwhelmed in a sea that i am trying to float upon. I know things can and will be better. Just have to take thing a day at a time. Being sick freaks me out, being scared of failing at something freaks me out. I am doing my best to not let it cloud me and it becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Things are not all gloom and doom. Have.had some bright spots. Some compliments at work, watching the karate kids do well in testing, and teaching has been rewarding.
Guess i just need to vent the negative so i can release it, and remember the positive so that its something i can hold onto.

Full time school

Ah last couple of days have been crazy. Hectic at work trying to get to the school...and not feeling well. Who gets a sore throat in June? Commuting has sucked as Ava is in the shop. Hoping she is out soon. We are six days npw at the school and first day went ok. Now we need people. In other news i am close to finishing up my continuing education for LEED. I will be glad when its done. Work is.now offering an incentive prpgram for taking the ARE. Now i have more incentive to get this done one and for all.  Things have been busy but good.

Onward

Ah. Done teaching at the after-school program.  Now just have to be there for testing, but that's no biggie.  SO glad its over.  It was very trying for me.  At times I question myself as a teacher and why I did Martial Arts in the first place. Luckily for me, I've had some really good experiences teaching at the Peabody dojo, so I haven't lost all hope.

Now its onto the next thing.  I need to finish logging in all my requirements to keep my LEED certification, for one.  Its so I can keep it without having to re-test. I will NOT want to go through that again. I'm more than halfway done, so that is easy.

Than what is next?

I'll be continuing to train, teach if need be, and maybe finally studying for the ARE - FOR REAL.

In the back of my mind, I do want to fight again, but I need to look/feel stronger.  That will take time.  I'm thinking I can do all that while working, and running the school.  We shall see. 

I just need for my studying to be in the forefront. Just really need to get these over with once and for all.

So I'm look forward to a productive summer.
Its a BIG step for our school going to 6 days/ week.  
I'm really hoping it takes off.

...Anyway...one step at at time.

Hectic Times

Wow, it has been hectic.  Nice to get a few minutes to breathe and of course update the blog.

A couple of weeks ago I taught on Saturday, then on Sunday took a few of our Karate kids to a tournament. They did very well and I was so proud of them. Its so great to see these kids improve, do well, and earn their achievements.

I also participated.  In weapons forms it was just the guys, and they combined it.  Another guy was intermediate like myself and decided to compete advanced (brown belt). So I did as well. If he can do it, so should I.

I ended up in a 2nd place tie, with the brown belt and had to do the form again.  Made an error and was bumped the 3rd. AH!

As for the hand kata there were 5 women so it was just us ladies.  I did my thing, and landed 3rd place.  I really wish I did better like I know I can. 

I couldn't believe how nervous I felt, it was almost as bad as when I had to fight.  It think it was because the parents were there....

Jeff asked how I felt, and I was indifferent. I know I can do better and I know I should have done better. Hopefully it sets a fire for me for the fall.

Work has been insane, with working long hours for various deadlines.  I've had to miss a couple of classes and it bums me out.  I am really hoping all this hard work pays off come 'salary talk time'

Meanwhile we have firmed up our plans for the summer for the school. Now we have to get our marketing underway and hope for the best.

It'd be so great to get in more people over the summer.  I want the decision to stay at 6 days a week to be and easy one.

With working so much my body crashed over the weekend and its be telling me to be careful. So I made sure to have some down time and will this weekend after I teach on Saturday

Just a few more classes to teach at the Eliot, then our Summer Schedule starts in Peabody. Big times ahead!