Just saw this article just now
Its things people shouldn't say to childless couples.
I find many of these to be true. One thing it left out is "oh your are selfish"...
Let me begin with saying there are a NUMBER of articles that have the reverse. "Things childless people shouldn't say to people with children" etc. etc.
From the time I was very young, I never thought I would have children. The thought was I would probably adopt.
We have talked about having kids, even figured it out a bit... then stopped. We are just uneasy about having our own child
Most of it stems from financial stress. We have talked a great deal about foster/adoption, its easier for us to accept helping a child that is here and not adding another...
but that is an even bigger burden financially...
We have our own school, which in many ways feels like our child. I know its not the same. But we care a great deal about it, and our students.
It painful to see our school not doing well because its as if we decided on that instead of children... and it hurts a great deal
When we talked about having children, we knew what names they would be. Particularly if it was a girl. My gut tells me that we'd end up with a girl..I don't know why.
Her name is Rose. We talk about her often, as if she existed here on earth. In fact I talk to her, pray to her, and tell her how sorry I am that she is not here with us.
From time to time, not having my own child rips me a part. Granted, if we did want kids I am not even sure if we can. We both have health issues first of all..
Rose is very special to me, and I feel in many ways its better that she stays in heaven as the angel she is.
When my sister was pregnant we talked about the name, and I told her that if she was considering Rose, she could use it.
She did. Every time I hear or see my niece. Its like a piece of my Rose is here.
We have been told "oh you'd be great parents" and encouraged to be parents.
We have also been told "it changes your life" "it takes up so much more of your time" which are true, yet discouraging.
The fact is. If we decided to (either on our own or adopt) we'd have to completely change our lives. We get that...
We can make those sacrifices... but we also want to be able to provide for them. I am still holding onto hope... but it feels like its fading.
Much like the idea of 'Rose'.
