Heavy

Of all the things in my head to write about...I decide this. Heavy Metal.

It has been years...many years since I have listened to Heavy Metal.
Though I was listening to is less...after I got sick...I didn't like it anymore.  
In fact, it made me feel sick... I found other music that motivated me and that I enjoyed. Some sad, some uplifting... none that bothered me.

Today I played Heavy Metal again...and enjoyed it.  It felt like the only thing I could do to stay centered.

Today I had rough day. In a string of rough days.  
Not only has it been rough...but more importantly I haven't been able to attend class.  I'm guessing that is the trigger.

Three weeks from today I will be on a 32 hour flight, half way across the world.
I'll be leaving behind the biggest project of my life, my school, and my husband.

Overwhelmed doesn't explain it.

It feels like I have so much to do.
So many loose ends.

Feeling more worried about when I come back than enjoying the fact I am going to be in THAILAND, training MUAY THAI.

Ah!

Heavy Metal for some reason hit the spot today...

Tuesday

Have a few minutes so a progress update it is!

Yesterday - I finished my day with Steak, and a Lara Bar. I know Lara Bar is bad, and should have cooked more. Initially the steak has lots of mushrooms and onions, unfortunately my body was reacting bad to the coconut oil it was cooked in.  This has been happening, so we might have to go back to cooking food in other things.  It made me nauseous  :(

Workout - 21 Day Fix - Dirty 30
Oh this was good! Had to do lots of modifiers, but I made it!  I also really enjoyed it.

Water was not good enough...but I am trying to do better today.

Today - got my shakeo down the hatch, water bottle going strong.
Its a 'long' day for me - I have biking, karate, muay thai - and I am focused on getting all of those done and burn it up.

Lunch is steak, spinach, pears, and apples..can't wait!!

Weekend Warrior

So here is the weekend wrap up!

Saturday I was feeling pretty good!

I did Karate and Muay Thai, and burnt some MAJOR Calories.
After class I got myself a new water bottles and shoes.  My old ones were very much dead.

Sunday I started the day off right with grocery shopping and eating a breakfast with lot of COLORS!

After that I did YOGA...boy did I need that!!!

Sundays are my naughty days.
So for lunch it was a Gluten Free Veggie Pizza with Chicken and later some chips with onions, peppers, a little cheese and some sour cream.  I also had a beer :/

Now onto Monday!
Started the day of with Shakeo Chocolate, LOTS of water.  Coming up next Salmon, Spinach, and Peaches!!

Saturday

So finish up on my post of yesterday...

This was my lunch.  I call it "craving salad".  It is at a place that is about 5 minute walk, and I use that time to try to relax and enjoy my walk.  Also, I try to hone into what I will want to eat.

So here is Tuna, Ham, Cottage Cheese (on top is some protein wheat thing), Swiss Cheese, Tomoatos, Corn, Banana Peppers. The one critical thing missing is green, they didn't have any green beans which I typically like... Here is my final Calorie count of the day. Dinner it was chicken and spinach. YUM

 

Now unto today. Started the day with a plain egg omlet, with just a dab of sour cream and a dash of blue cheese. My goal is to kick butt in classes today!

2015

This year, my main goal is to really try to stay on top of things this year!  be more organized and plan better.  

Day 1 (Jan 1) - Got my workout in!  My heartrate monitor wasn't placed right until 10 minutes in.
After the workout it read 112 or something. So I probably got close too burning 200 calories. Ah well.

Day 2- Walked to work burned over 100 calories.  I still have it going just to see what I burn at work.
I want to do better at seeing how I do.

Food Diary - Coffee, Shakeology so far.  I have peaches and a yogurt on deck!

Over the break I got a lot of marketing done for the school as well as setting up our new billing system I want to use.

Also - I put together Jeff's video that he wants to do. I wanted him to see what the final product would like like.

Obviously I am going to try to write more too!
56 days until Thailand.

Thankful Focus

More on Today's Thankful Focus: Sacrifice.

On Facebook I wrote:

Today's Thankful Focus: Sacrifice. You read that correctly, Sacrifice.

We all have decisions, daily. Some of which require sacrifice.
There are many things that I have sacrificed through the years to do the things I wanted to do and achieve.  Many of my sacrifices I feel that I have made for others. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't.  Some of which, are sacrifices that I will have for the rest of my life.

At the end of my life, I know I will look back and say it was worth it, and that is why I am thankful.

A little more:
In recent years, do not regret making sacrifices to make ends meet, to start and run our school, and to be a good architect and teacher. At the end of the day its all what I feel like I called to do.

Its easy many time to sacrifice for others, harder to do for yourself.  In 4 months. I will be in Thailand. I'll be sacrificing money, time, my job, helping with the school and so much more.  Just thinking about it drives up anxiety and excitement all at the same time.

4 Months..wow.

Spleen strikes

This is a cartoon photo of a happy spleen.  My spleen is not happy, unfortunately.

Doc says my spleen is why I am dizzy and its so bad he didn't want me to waste money on 'body work' as it wouldn't hold

It was kind of a bummer because I had thought I was doing everything I could... guess its not enough and I need to add more in and keep going. gah!

The other interesting questions delved into my emotional state.  He asked how my motivation was. I told him its been off. In fact I have been depressed. In a way I haven't felt in years.  I really don't feel like it is like me to not try or give up. My mind wants to, but my body is lethargic.  He said it points back to the spleen. 

So he gave me a list of items to add into the diet, Chinese pills to take and we will go from there.

Though I have been feeling this way for a month, overall I feel its better. So hopefully adding this other stuff in just helps me more and more.

Not going to lie, the depression has taken a big mental hold on me. I'm trying not to let it get to me or let it spiral.